I'm Abdel, a McDonald's crew member. When people work closely under pressure, disagreements are almost certain to happen, and most can be solved with a calm conversation. I have seen how much better things go when people talk early.
Reporting options and procedures may vary by market, franchise organization, and restaurant. If a situation involves harassment, threats, discrimination, or feeling unsafe, do not try to solve it alone. Use your approved reporting options right away.
Why conflict happens
Restaurants are busy, noisy places, and people have different habits and communication styles. Common causes of tension include:
- A sharp comment during a rush.
- Someone who seems not to be doing their share.
- Different ways of doing the same task.
- Misunderstandings about who was meant to do what.
- Gossip, or feeling left out.
- Stress from outside work.
Conflict does not mean that someone is a bad person, or that your team is broken. It often means that two people have not yet understood each other.
Before you react
Your first reaction is rarely your best one. During a rush, the most useful thing is usually to get through the moment:
- Take a slow breath.
- Stay focused on the work.
- Keep your voice steady.
- If needed, say: "Let's talk about this after the rush."
Do not argue in front of guests. It makes things worse, and it looks unprofessional for both of you. Once you have calmed down, ask yourself a few questions. What exactly happened? Is it a one-time thing, or is it a pattern? Could they have been stressed or misunderstood? What do I actually want to change?
Some things can be let go, and that is fine. If a comment was small and unusual for them, it may not need a conversation at all. But if it keeps bothering you, it is probably worth addressing.
How to talk it through
Speak with the person privately and calmly, at a time when neither of you is rushed. You might find these steps useful:
- Ask for a moment. "Do you have a minute after your shift? I'd like to clear something up."
- Describe what happened. Stick to what you saw and heard.
- Explain how it affected you or the work.
- Listen to their side. Really listen. You may learn something new.
- Agree on what to do next. Keep it practical.
Here is an example:
Earlier, when you told me to hurry up in front of the guests, I felt embarrassed. I know that it was really busy. Next time, could you just tell me what you need?
That is much more likely to work than "You're always so rude."
Words that help and words that hurt
| Instead of | Try |
|---|---|
| "You always..." | "On Saturday, when..." |
| "You never help." | "Could we split the cleaning differently?" |
| "Everyone thinks you..." | "I noticed..." |
| "That's stupid." | "I see it differently. Can I show you what I mean?" |
| "It's not my problem." | "How can we sort this out?" |
Try to focus on the behavior, and not on who the person is. "That comment bothered me" is much easier to hear than "You are a horrible person."
Listen as well as speak
You may be part of the problem, even if you do not intend to be. Maybe your teammate thinks that you leave your station messy, or maybe you sounded sharper than you meant to. If they raise something fair, try saying:
I didn't realize that. I'm sorry. I'll try to do better.
Admitting a mistake does not make you weak. Often, it is what allows the other person to do the same.
Avoid making it bigger
When you are annoyed, it is tempting to complain to everyone. It usually comes back around. Avoid:
- Talking about the person to other teammates.
- Trying to get people to take your side.
- Posting about it on social media or in group chats.
- Giving the silent treatment.
- Refusing to help them at work.
- Getting back at them in small ways.
Talking to one trusted person for advice is different from spreading a story. If you need to vent, try doing it with someone outside work, and keep any names and details private.
When to involve a manager
You do not have to solve everything alone. Speak to your manager if:
- You have tried talking, and nothing has changed.
- The conflict is affecting your work, guests, or safety.
- You do not feel comfortable approaching the person.
- The behavior is repeated.
- Someone is not doing tasks that affect food safety or safety in general.
Be factual when you talk to your manager. Give dates and examples, and say what you have already tried. You might also keep brief notes about what happened.
I've been having trouble working with a teammate on closing shifts, and I tried talking to them about it last week. Could you help us find a better way of splitting the tasks?
Managers want to know about these things early. If you are interested in how they think about these issues, this article on common manager mistakes offers some insight.
When it is more than a disagreement
A normal disagreement is not the same as harassment, bullying, threats, or discrimination. If someone is making comments about your identity, touching you without permission, threatening you, or trying to make you feel unsafe:
- Do not try to manage it alone.
- Move to a safe place if you need to.
- Report it to a manager or through your organization's approved reporting channel.
- Keep notes about what happened, including dates and any witnesses.
- If you are in immediate danger, seek help right away.
If the concern involves your manager, use another approved channel. You should never have to accept this as "just part of the job."
Working together afterward
Even if you never become friends, you can still work well together. Be polite, keep your focus on the job, and give them a fresh start if they try. Thank them when they help. Small gestures can repair more than you would think.
Your ability to handle conflict is also useful if you want to grow. Leaders deal with this type of thing regularly, and clear, respectful communication is one of the most valuable skills you can practice. If conflict is affecting you more deeply, these ideas for managing stress may help too.
If the conflict is with a manager rather than a coworker, read what to do if you do not get along with a manager.
Final thoughts
Conflict with a coworker can make even a good job feel difficult. But most problems become smaller once people talk honestly. Stay calm, speak privately, focus on what happened, listen to their side, and ask for help when you need it.
You do not have to like everyone at work. You just need to find a way of working together with respect.
